Meditation Take 1

So...tonight I tried my first 5 minute meditation. I got out my sound machine and set it to ocean waves...sat cross legged on the floor...and my husband said he would do it with me. So...I started the timer. I started first by concentrating on my breathing...trying to get the deep breaths...and then thought about the last time I had been at the beach...wait, I need to concentrate on my breathing. So, I start to think, Liz said she repeats breathe...so I will think about breathing in and breathing out..breathe in, breathe out, do you think my heart is beating kind of fast? Breathe in, breathe out...how many points do I have left today...concentrate...breathe in, breathe out. My lower back feels a little tight...oh my gosh...what is going on? Concentrate, breathe in, breathe out...breathing...okay....I can do this....I wonder if we are going to get more snow....breathe in, breathe out...focus...what is the dog doing? FOCUS...how many minutes to do you think we have left? Breathe in, breathe out...okay, I think I can do this, I think I am going to burp these green peppers...focus...breathe in breathe out...should I check my facebook page, oh my gosh, how come I am thinking about facebook...maybe I am an addict...FOCUS, breathe in, breathe out...breathing...the surf...it sounds so peaceful...what is that sound...oh, that is the timer going off!

The funniest part is that I can't even write every thought my brain had...because there were so many and they came so fast...anyway...I think I am going to make it my goal to be able to go through five minutes without this much thought. Tim told me that the ocean was distracting for him and that he couldn't believe it when the timer went off, he thought the time went by really quickly. But, he grew up meditating....and my brain often consumes me...But, I will not give up. I will try...maybe I should medicate before meditation...or does that defeat the whole purpose?