Meditation Take 2...

Okay, so tonight I tried to put together some advice that I received through the day...Liz says don't sit up...lay down. Tim says, no noise machine...Dan says, why can't you meditate you fool? Anyway...so I get home from work...it is 8:15pm. I do a 20 minute yoga session...a little stiff from my FUSION class earlier today...tomorrow I am positive moving may not be possible. When will I EVER be in shape? Anyway...so I lie down on my yoga mat, and close my eyes...start the timer. So, breathing in, breathing out...ah the dryer is a good noise to have on while doing this....wait...breathe in, breathe out...think about breathing...my chest is rising and falling with my breath. I have to get up at 7am tomorrow...that sucks...and what will I eat for breakfast, maybe an english muffin with peanut butter and honey...eeek, that was a long time...breathing...okay, breathe in for 5, 1...2...3...4...5..breathe out for five 5...4...3...2...1..breathe in, breathe out...I need to do the counting...so 1,2,3,4,5....out 5,4,3,2,1....in...the dog sounds like she is going to start whining...okay, she's fine...breathing...breathe in, breathe out...there is a twinge in my ankle...has that been there all day...or just tonight....ugh...breathing....breathe in...oh, what is that noise...time is up!

Okay...so I don't think I drifted NEARLY as much this time...although I know I did...tomorrow is another day!

And...just a side note, why when I work out, do I want to eat everything in sight all day? It is nuts!! I think I ate a pretty balanced diet today...and I still feel like I could eat a sandwich...ugh, this weight loss thing sometimes drives me nuts...

Meditation Take 1

So...tonight I tried my first 5 minute meditation. I got out my sound machine and set it to ocean waves...sat cross legged on the floor...and my husband said he would do it with me. So...I started the timer. I started first by concentrating on my breathing...trying to get the deep breaths...and then thought about the last time I had been at the beach...wait, I need to concentrate on my breathing. So, I start to think, Liz said she repeats breathe...so I will think about breathing in and breathing out..breathe in, breathe out, do you think my heart is beating kind of fast? Breathe in, breathe out...how many points do I have left today...concentrate...breathe in, breathe out. My lower back feels a little tight...oh my gosh...what is going on? Concentrate, breathe in, breathe out...breathing...okay....I can do this....I wonder if we are going to get more snow....breathe in, breathe out...focus...what is the dog doing? FOCUS...how many minutes to do you think we have left? Breathe in, breathe out...okay, I think I can do this, I think I am going to burp these green peppers...focus...breathe in breathe out...should I check my facebook page, oh my gosh, how come I am thinking about facebook...maybe I am an addict...FOCUS, breathe in, breathe out...breathing...the surf...it sounds so peaceful...what is that sound...oh, that is the timer going off!

The funniest part is that I can't even write every thought my brain had...because there were so many and they came so fast...anyway...I think I am going to make it my goal to be able to go through five minutes without this much thought. Tim told me that the ocean was distracting for him and that he couldn't believe it when the timer went off, he thought the time went by really quickly. But, he grew up meditating....and my brain often consumes me...But, I will not give up. I will try...maybe I should medicate before meditation...or does that defeat the whole purpose?

40 days of yoga...day 2

So, I signed up for a workshop, 40 Days of Yoga based on Baron Baptiste's book 40 Days to Personal Evolution, at my gym. I am already doing yoga on Mondays and Fusion (a pilates, yoga and ballet combo) on Wednesdays...but I wanted to kick it up a notch for the new year. So, yesterday I went to the first meeting. We reviewed the first week...the 20 minutes a day of yoga practice, the diet...well being more conscious about what we are eating and how it makes us feel, and the meditation, my scariest part of this. So...today I woke up and did my 20 minutes of yoga, made notes about my food...and now I am thinking about my meditation. I need to do 5 minutes. I may use my blog to write about how this is making me feel and my struggles. I know that it will be interesting!

On the weight watchers front...I lost .2 this week! Not a lot, but still a loss. This weekend was a bad weekend for me...brownies, wine, pizza (veggie, but still), but starting Monday I decided that this week would be a good week. I have planned my meals...we have a London broil we are eating this week with salad, pita and feta. I am making a cheeseburger casserole tonight and then later this week a chicken and mushroom dish! Planning meals is key for my success...but it was funny...I talked to a friend yesterday and she said if she meal planned she would obsess about when she was eating and what she could eat and ask herself if it was time...to which I LAUGHED...that is exactly what I think every day...which is shocking...why do I obsess about food so much? Why can't I just take it or leave it?

So..the weekend was fun, hanging out with Tim...reading, watching movies. We watched THE STING and THE DUCHESS...and some episodes of NORTHERN EXPOSURE. We did laundry and we spent time on our computers...maybe we will come up with something more riveting for next weekend.

And...I am sad about the lack of snow here in Washington...I got spoiled with all of the snow we had at the end of December and the beginning of January...but now it has been three weeks of nothing...all of my friends and family in Ohio are enjoying snow...and here, there is none, well, that's not entirely true...we have mounds of ugly white and grey and black snow...but that is all! Send me some snow!

Lazy Sunday Mornings...

So, for as long as I can remember in my adult life anyway...Sunday mornings are a source of relaxation. Sure, when I lived in Cincinnati there was always the possibility of an outing about 11am for brunch...but most of the time I got to sleep in. Even when I worked from 12-8 on Sundays I would rise about 11:30am to get ready for work. Now, here in Washington, the brunch factor is gone, but Tim and I often rise late, eat late and that sets the tone for the rest of the day. This weekend isn't any different. We got up about 9am...Tim made crepes (per my request, I had just read the Martha Stewart Living's February issue and it made me crave them). So...we had ham egg and cheese crepes. Other mornings he will walk to Great Harvest Bakery and we will have a pastry from there....when we lived on the South Hill we were more inclined to do our other Sunday morning ritual...brunch and a movie. The downtown AMC has 5.00 shows before noon...so, we could hit a breakfast joint before and then go...or have a late lunch after. Living in Liberty Lake we haven't found the breakfast brunch place that will compel us to get up and go. We are more likely to travel to Spokane proper. There is the ever so delicious European Breakfast place in Post Falls, ID...but talk about WW points! EEEK!! At least in Cincinnati we had First Watch...with equally delicious figure friendly brunch...or you could go all out and eat something horrid for you! One of the other Sunday morning things I miss is CBS Sunday Morning...in Cincinnati it came on at 10am...I could be up, in my pjs and watch that while we contemplated breakfast or brunch...however, here in the PST...it comes on at 7AM...that is horrible! I can't or don't want to get up that early on a Sunday morning...but, sometimes I do, the show is really that good!

As for today...I picture curling up with a good book, watching a movie, or just hanging out with the cat and dog while my husband plays computer games...it is COLD out...so nothing outdoors today!! We have a London broil marinating...and planned what promises to be a delicious dinner! Enjoy your Sundays everyone!

Feeling Inspired

I just finished watching the Inauguration Speech and festivities for President Obama. I had chills, I cried...and I even laughed a little. It was incredible! This made me feel more inspired and hopeful than anything I have seen for awhile. I will admit, I am pretty pessimistic when it comes to politics and this helped me a little! Now I want to go and volunteer my time, work for less money (oh, I already do that), give back a little, work more on saving our planet, and I actually feel that I CAN make a difference. Oh, this isn't something new, but I feel like after hearing what we need to do to get things turned around in America...I really need to do my part. I hope that everyone else out there feels the same way! I also hope that those people out there who hate, can see the bigger picture and will leave things alone. In history, there is always someone out there who can't see the bigger picture and cause horrible tragedy for the rest of us. This is an appeal to that person to let it go, see things beyond the nose on your face and be part of the solution and not the problem! And...for everyone else out there, don't be afraid to do your part...it may seem small and insignificant...but if all of us band together I think we really can change the world!

Weighing in this week...

So...I weighed in Saturday morning. I was down .4 (which is good) but I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. Then I start to analyze my week. Those Snocaps and Blue Icees at the movies this week...not measuring my brown rice EXACTLY...I know I did some exercise this week, maybe it wasn't enough. I have to constantly remind myself that any loss is good. And, if I want to be successful I need to think about EVERYTHING I put in my mouth. I want to be able to enjoy a blue icee every once in awhile...but why does the movie theater make it so hard to do? Their smallest size is 32 oz....I really only want about 12 oz...and I would even settle for 8 oz. I have been in long discussions with the cashier at the counter about are you SURE this is the smallest cup you have...and why can't I have the small water cup you give out with something in it...charge me if you must...but please, let me enjoy this without making a HUGE mistake for the week!! They are very insistent...they can't charge me $4.50 for the tiny cup...and there are no other cups. I wonder if I bring my own cup if they will fill it for me and charge me the price...I will try that next time! I see myself drinking blue icees in my future...I just don't think I can justify a 32 oz one!! I am so happy to report that most other places are very amenable with my requesting smaller portion sizes...and often they will give me a discount...I am always willing to pay full price...and I think that is why people will work with me! For all of you movie theater owners and managers out there...try offering a few figure friendly sizes! I won't be as tempted to sneak in my own food!!

So, after weighing in I always think about how my week will go...planning the meals and exercise, trying to anticipate times I will be tempted to do things I shouldn't with food. This week I am getting a 6 lb bone in turkey breast. I will put it in the crock pot tomorrow and from that have turkey, turkey with feta and veggie pitas, turkey tostadas, and just plain turkey sandwiches. I think it will be a good week!

It's Friday Night...

This is often the day of reckoning for me. Tomorrow I will drag myself out of bed at about 6:45am and try to make myself look presentable and head to Weight Watchers to weigh in. I am often thinking about my week, did I eat too much, did I exercise enough, what could I have done, or should I have done differently (except by this time, it is too late). I have these thoughts the night before weigh in. I also try and think what will make me happy. I know that earlier in my weight loss I was happy with ANY loss...it could be anywhere from .2 to 1.8 and I would be equally as excited. I know that there was also a time when I was relieved that I had maintained my weight, because that meant I could keep it off. Now, I think my expectations are higher...although they shouldn't be. I want to see a big weight loss...and I am not sure I have what it takes to do it. I am very inspired by the BIGGEST LOSER. I have had friends ask me if I watch it...I used to tell them that it was unrealistic weight loss...people are exercising and eating in a void...no real life situations and losing more than a pound a week isn't healthy. Now, I have changed my view a little. I still think it is unrealistic...but I think it does inspire people. I think about whether or not I should do that last workout on Friday night before my Saturday weigh in...but usually by Friday I am ready to call it a week.

Tonight...it is like any other night. I eat pot stickers because they are filling, low point and I fill up on mushrooms and broccoli. I will probably have some hot chocolate tonight...nothing else. Today I walked to work...my husband and the dog came to get me...we walked home. We typically watch some TV or a movie...and then try to hit bed by 10pm to read. But, I am still thinking about my week...what did I do to stand between me and my goal?

Adding in the Exercise and Meal Planning

So...it has been awhile since my last posting (I feel like I am in confession and I am not even a Catholic) anyway...I weighed in on Saturday and managed to lose 3.2 lbs of what I gained over the holidays...WOW! So, how do I do it? It is hard. I watched the Oprah show about her weight gain and struggle with weight and I listened to Bob Greene say that in order to truly be able to succeed, you have to know what causes you to fall into the old habits. Well, it is really rather simple for me. I LOVE to eat. I love good food. I will admit that in my past I would just eat because it was time, or to clean off my plate (yes, I am a former member of the clean plate club). I don't have any deep psychological problems (okay I do...but not having to do with food). I love the way chocolate melts in your mouth and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling. There is nothing like a rare steak and a good red wine...with all of the fixings, baked potato, salad, rolls. And, I have become more of a food snob since I started my diet (lifestyle change). But, the fact of the matter is I LOVE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES...I just do. What do I love about them? The little bits of chocolate hidden in a buttery rich dough. And did I mention, I love to eat the cookie dough as well. Anyway...I have totally gotten off topic. But food is good. It isn't just sustaining...there is a science to pairing it with what makes it truly sing. But, Bob Greene and many other people say that there must be some other reason why we eat...sadness, depression, anger, low self esteem, etc. I can't say I don't experience those things...but I know that food doesn't change any of them...food doesn't make me feel better when I am experiences those things...

Anyway, last week I planned meals...starting with a chicken stroganoff recipe for the crock pot. It was an excellent substitute for the real thing...and you could just put the ingredients in the crock pot and come back to it later. Served with whole wheat noodles...it was really good and filling. Tim and I also made some turkey burgers stuffed with feta served with greens, roasted red peppers and half a pita...also REALLY REALLY GOOD....and finally we made fish tacos! They were so good and from start to finish it took a little under 20 minutes to fix. This fed us most of last week...my final meal was the twice baked potatoes with cheese and ham...Tim doesn't like potatoes unless they are fried...so this is all me...and boy were they good. The meal planning and my yoga on Monday and Tuesday, Fusion on Wednesday and some walking the other days helped me lose the weight.

This week the meals have been planned as well...so far we have really enjoyed this Shrimp Chowder (also a crock pot recipe)...and tonight it is a Mexican style chicken in the crock pot...seems simple enough and I can't wait to see how it tastes! And...as a glutton for punishment I have done yoga, square dancing and pilates so far this week...fusion tomorrow...and I am started a 40 days of yoga, a six week commitment to putting yoga in my life! I am sure tomorrow I won't be able to laugh or breathe...but I do feel good! But I am trying to commit to 30 minutes a day 5 days a week of some sort of exercise...and sometimes it is only 10 minutes at a time...sometimes I can do all 30 minutes together and sometimes I go over! But, I definitely see a difference...and I am building my muscles and strength!

New Year, Facing the Scale after the holidays

So...I started Weight Watchers in May 2007 not long after I moved to Spokane. I had really topped out at a weight that made me feel sluggish, lumbering, lazy and just plain UGH! I was 247 lbs. I had probably weighed more...but I knew that I was about to leave the 18/20 size and go into the 22/24 size and I simply thought ENOUGH!! But...I love food...I love to eat...so how can I diet? Well, I did Weight Watchers in College to keep the Freshman 20 off...and did that successfully. I also did Weight Watchers right after I got married because, let's face it...you do get comfortable with yourself and your spouse. That time I was less successful. So...I just let myself go...telling myself that someday I would want to lose weight. So...I am approaching 40 (2010) and I know that losing weight as you get older, gets harder...so I thought it is time. I think no matter who you are and what you are doing in life, you have to come to that thought, IT IS TIME...it is different for everyone. For me, it was being in a new place and not knowing anyone. It is easier to lose weight when you aren't going out with your friends and going out to eat for a variety of occasions. Now, I feel like I have the tools I need to face those situations. In May 2008 I reached a total of 50 lbs GONE!! I was excited, I was elated...and realizing that I still had a ways to go...thought that I could still keep going. From May 2008 to October 2008 I bounced back and forth between the same 5 lbs. I kept going to meetings, I kept exercising, but I wasn't really following the plan. Then...I got back into it. Made it through Thanksgiving, no weight gain...but as I approached the Christmas holiday season I felt a since of dread....last Christmas (2007) I went from Dec. 23 to Jan 3 only gaining 2 lbs...could I do it again? I LOVE cookies...I LOVE baking cookies...this is something that I have given up. But...I was ready to try again...so I baked...and ate and baked and ate...and then ate some more. NOW, this year from Dec. 13th to Jan. 2nd I gained 5.4 lbs....EEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!! How is that possible??? But, I realize that it happens...and in the big picture I have lost and kept off 54.4 lbs. So, the tough work begins. Everyone says this is the hardest...as you approach your goal, you struggle even more. I want to be 175 by March 31, 2009. This is my goal weight. On Jan. 3rd when I weighed in...I was not really shocked by the weight gain, I knew that I had made poor choices, I knew that there were days I went to bed feeling ill because I had eaten too much and I knew that while I exercised that first week (before Dec 20th) the next two weeks I ate and did not exercise AT ALL!! So...no wonder I gained! Some of you may think that it has taken a long time for me to lose...most of that is me, not the program. I am trying to create life long habits...ones I can live with even when the weight is gone. My goal once I reach my weight goal is to maintain my weight...forever. I know that seems like a long time. But, I don't want to feel like I did at 247 ever again. I am blessed with a husband who loves me no matter what I look like...in skinny and in fat...but I know that for me, I need to feel more like I do now...it makes me happier, less stressed and makes me feel like I can function again. I haven't stopped going to Weight Watchers meetings...I think this is what keeps me on track even if I slip...knowing I weigh in each week helps me keep in mind what I put in my mouth and how it makes me feel. It also helps me to hear week after week that people struggle like I do...I have always struggled with my weight...part of me doesn't care if I am a little overweight...but I want to be healthy and happy and able to be active! I see so many people who look like they can eat without consequence, and that makes me nuts...but then I have to realize that they may have something going on that is under the skin, not obvious to me...that they struggle with.

So, wish me luck! I need a little of it and a little motivation. Thankfully I enjoy cooking at home and have found some incredible recipes that keep me on track! Do you have something you are struggling with? Is it weight? I hope to post more of my struggles on this blog...because it has been harder now that I am under 200 lbs...

New Year's Day in Seattle

So, Tim and I meant to leave Seattle on New Year's Day...but the weather was against us. Turns out Snoqualmie Pass was closed...with no estimated time of reopening...so we did what anyone would do, made the best of it. First, we went to find a place to eat breakfast/brunch/well almost lunch by the time we left. We headed to Portage Bay http://www.portagebaycafe.com/Home.html as we have heard nothing but good things about this place. There was an hour and a half wait...I was weak with hunger but couldn't wait. We were rerouted to the downtown location...but decided to try a greasy spoon like place called DISH...it was closed. As we pulled down the street to figure out where to go next we noticed a sign with the Eiffel tower on it...I glanced in and saw hardly anyone inside. My sister (who lives in Seattle) said that it had just opened recently...so I said, let's try it. So we decided to try Anita's http://www.anitascrepes.com/home.htm It was a cute little bistro...took Tim and I back to our time in France in September. We looked at the menu and to our surprise it offered cassoulet as a menu item...Tim had just made cassoulet for Christmas Day. The owner was friendly and the food was divine. Tim said his faith in American food had been restored that day. He was tempted to return for dinner to try the cassoulet. Since we were eating our first meal of the day, we all got breakfast or breakfast type food. I ordered the ham and cheese crepe, Tim got the bacon egg and cheese crepe and my sister ordered the breakfast which came with eggs, bacon and a crepe (choice of cinnamon or raspberry) she chose the raspberry. All of us were EXTREMELY satisfied with our choices. And, the size of the meal was just right, not too big and not too small. We will DEFINITELY be returning to this place next time in Seattle!

The other thing we did was go and see SEVEN POUNDS the latest Will Smith movie. I won't say anything about it except it was a good movie and I recommend it. I am afraid to say much else because I really don't want to give anything away!

By evening we went to this GLORIOUS pizza place http://www.veracipizza.com/ called Veraci's. This place had some of the BEST wood fired pizzas I have ever had...and the greatest part is you can buy it by the slice (to try different types) or a whole pizza. And, if you want some dessert...they also have some gelato right there! We had a whole pizza with four of us eating...we also got a caprese salad to go along with it and then my husband and I ordered one slice each of another kind...both REALLY REALLY good. The crust is thin and crispy, the toppings are fresh and not too overpowering, a perfect blend of crust and toppings! And...my sister ordered the gelato...okay I have had better (in France and Spain) but in the US this was really pretty good...a little grainier than I like...but the flavor was good and I would eat it again!

By Friday morning the pass was open...so Tim and I headed back to Spokane. Here are a few pictures of the pass as we drove through!

New Year's Eve in Seattle

So, to ring in 2009, Tim and I traveled to Seattle. My sister, her boyfriend, Tim and I went on the Argosy Cruise in Seattle and we DRESSED UP!!

NEW YEAR'S DINNER CRUISE ABOARD THE ROYAL ARGOSY
Wednesday, December 31st, Boarding 7:30-8:30pm, cruising 8:30pm-12:30am
Royal Argosy, Pier 56, Seattle Waterfront SOLD OUT What better way to ring in the New Year than with friends and family on the elegant Royal Argosy. Guests will enjoy an incredible cruise, a 4-course seated-served meal, coffee and tea, live music on all decks and terrific views of the fireworks, as well as a champagne toast at midnight. Menu:
First Course: Chilled Jumbo prawns served in a spicy “firecracker” marinade of peppers
Second Course: A gathered field greens salad, granny smith apples, candied walnuts, dried cranberries and Oregon blue cheese with a rosemary vinaigrette and topped with cinnamon swirl raisin croutons
Choice of one of the following Entree Items :
Chicken Oscar: Marinated chicken breast topped with Dungeness crab and hollandaise sauce served with garlic mashed potatoes and fresh asparagus.
Alaskan Salmon Wellington: Wild salmon roasted with local mushrooms and seasoned spinach enclosed in a puff pastry and finished with a tarragon buerre blanc.
Tri Colored Ravioli: A hearty bowl of cheese filled ravioli served with sun-dried tomato-basil sauce and grilled vegetables topped with Asiago cheese.
Traditional Prime Rib: Slow roasted and served with shredded fresh horseradish and au jus, garlic mashed potatoes and fresh asparagus.
Dessert trio sampler: Lemon Velvet cake, Mini chocolate tower, White chocolate raspberry truffles
Coffee, tea and soda are included, as well as a champagne toast at midnight complete with party favors. Alcoholic beverages are additional

So Tim and Jake rented tuxes...Lynn and I got fancy dresses...heels, makeup, the whole 9 yards. It was so fun! We took a cab to the pier and hung out with all of the other fancy dressed and not so fancy dressed (yes, there was a guy in a Hawaiian shirt and jeans) We were looking for the person wearing CROCS...didn't find one. We boarded just past 7:30pm and shoved off about 8:30pm. We were served the courses listed above. Lynn and I got the prime rib, Tim got the Salmon Wellington, and Jake got the chicken. We were all satisfied with the dinner, loved the dessert and really enjoyed the atmosphere, music, dancing, and just the general feel was really very festive. And, I have to admit it was fun dressing up!! I will post a couple pictures of the food!! Our evening ended beautifully with watching the Space Needle fireworks on the deck of the boat. It was spitting rain but was still fun and many people came out to enjoy them. Our only glitch in the evening was trying to get a cab when it was over...Lynn and I froze our feet and Jake and Tim got really wet walking up and down Alaskan Way trying to compete for taxis that didn't seem abundant. All in all a GREAT way to celebrate the new year!!